Group Size: 10-50
Estimated Time: 45 minutes
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This is the place!
The main communication between two people- is Hakshava- listening.
During the day, when every-one runs from one place to another, when we feel we have to do a-lot of things, we don’t listening. We are hearing, but we aren’t listening. Not to ourselves, and more then that, not to the others.
We hope, that this Peula, will open a little-bit the understanding of the Chanichim to listen more to each other, and it will bring our little neighborhood, and area, to be more patient, to hear, and to listen to the others.
Sit with your Chanichim in a circle. You need to count from1-10. The rules of the game:
- Two people can’t say the same number in the same time.
- Two or more people can’t say the same number.
- You can’t say a number after the someone that sits in both sides of you, said it.
- You can’t plan in which order to say the numbers.
- Every time you do a mistake, you start to count from the beginning, until you reach to ten.
If you have a-lot Chanichim, it should take a long time, until they will understand, that if they want to count until ten, they have to listen, and to keep on eye contact. When they will understand that, they will success. If you see they don’t success, and they keep to fight, and to scream on each other: “Be quit! Stop counting! “ , and things like that, stop the game, and tell every-one to listen, and to keep on eye- connection between them.
Choose five volunteers, and ask to wait outside the room. One of the volunteers should stay in the room, to hear your story.
Tell everyone a story with a-lot of details.
For example: “On last Sunday I had a trip. So, I woke-up in the morning, wear my red t-shirt, put on my blue skirt, or pants. I asked my mom money to buy some food in the store. I went out my house, walked down, turned left, after two blocks I turned right, and exactly after the yellow cab, I turned right. I walked into the store, bought 5 red candies, 3 purple loly-pops, and fruits. I also bought bred and orange juice for my sister, and more snacks for my trip. I went back home, but in a different direction. This time, I walked left, and after four-roads, I turned right, and I got straight home….” .
Tell this kind of story, to everyone, and the volunteer that stayed in the room, has to tell the exactly story to the other volunteer. And it keeps going on, until each volunteer tell this story, or what he remembered to the other volunteer.
When they finished, ask someone else to tell the story exactly like you told it to everyone. The volunteers, will be very surprised to hear the right story, with the exactly details you mentioned.
Ask everyone, why do they think that the volunteers were surprised?
Each one of them heard the story, but they didn’t pay attention to the details.
That’s what happening when you don’t listen. You forget the details.
What are the differences between the two games?
In the first game, everyone wanted to talk, to say the number, but if you “Jumped” to say the number, the group loosed. In that game, you had to pay attention, to what’s going in around you, and only then, you could say the number.
You will whisper a word to the ear of the Chanich that sits next to you. He will whisper the word he heard to the one next to him, until it will get to the last Chanich. He will say the word he got. What will happen, is that, the word you said at the beginning, is not the same word the last Chanich heard.
In this game, each one heard what he heard, and that’s the way he had to pass the word to the others.
That’s what happening when we hear “Lashon-Hara” . Everyone has to hear “Lashon-Hara” , even if it’s not our business. It’s always interesting. To “Lashon-Hara” , we are always there to listen, and we will always have time for that, even if it’s not interesting us.
Ask the Chanichim- What’s the differences between to hear “Lashon-Hara” , and to listen to someone.
Why does everyone prefer to listen to bad things about people, but when it comes to a situation that someone needs help, or someone needs you to sit and listen to his problems, and just be there for him, we aren’t there?
Read to the Chanichim this short paragraph about “Listening” :
….”And I remember my father, that repute and said to me: “We have to learn to listen. With all our heart. To listen to everyone. To the man, woman, boy, girl, animal, tree, And even to the smallest leaf. Be careful! You almost step on a flower! “.
People think that to really listen is very easy, you don’t need to work for it, or on it. But that is the biggest mistake! .
To listen, with all our heart, we need to have big powers.
If we will teach our self’s to listen, we will have a wonderful world” .
This is about the “Listening” .
Now, read with your Chanichim the Halacha from the Rambam, about “Lashon-Hara” :
"וגדול עוד יותר עוונו של המספר "לשון-הרע" , על חברו שלא בפניו, אפילו אם הוא מספר אמת. שהרי הוא משיאו שם רע בציבור.... זהו שהכתוב אומר: "לא תלך רכיל בעמך, לא תעמוד על דם רעך" . השווה הכתוב את המספר בגנותו של חברו לעומד על דמן. ומה משמע" רכיל" , זה ההולך כרוכל בין אנשים, שומע דברי גנאי על זה, ומספרם לזה" .
"אמרו חכמים: שלוש עבירות נפרעין מן האדם בעולם-הזה, ואין לו חלק לעולם-הבא: עבודת-כוכבים, וגילוי עריות, ושפיכות- דמים, ןלשון-הרע כנגד כולם. ןעוד אמרו חכמים: כל המספר בלשון-הרע, כאילן כפר בעיקר.... ועןד אמרו חכמים: שלןשה לשון-הרע הורגת- האומרו, והמקבלו, וזה שאומר עליו.
והמקבלו יותר מן האומרו" .
After you read with your Chanichim these things, you can make a conclusion:
To hear “Lashon-Hara” , is much easier then to sit and listen to a friend. When you hear “Lashon-Hara” , you think you don’t do anything, and you think it’s only unnecessary information.
When you hear things you aren’t suppose to hear, you pass it to other people, and until it get to the end, it’s not sounding like the real story, and then, every-one that heard what you said, thinks bad things about that person, that the “Lashon-Hara” , was about him. You hear, you tell someone else, and you forget about it. You don’t realize the big damage you did, when you “just listen to “Lashon-Hara” .
But, when someone asks you to sit, and to give your time for listening to his problems, you don’t want, because it’s about your time. When you think about it, you don’t want to listen to others problems; you have problems from your own.
We have to teach ourselves to listen more, even if it’s on our time, and hear less “Lashon-Hara” . The damage of “Lashon-Hara” , is much longer, and complicated.
No-one want’s to hear about himself things from someone else.